


This Is Home

by evantheworm



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Songfic, Trans David Jacobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:29:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23420974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evantheworm/pseuds/evantheworm
Summary: David is having a rough day. His boyfriend reminds him that it's okay because he's home.
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly
Kudos: 47





	This Is Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a Javid songfic based on the song This is Home by Cavetown. Davey is trans in this because you can pull that hc from my cold dead hands. Very angsty it gets a little fluffier at the end though, I promise. It's also my first fic so please be nice thank you. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Also I am trans so this is more closely aligned with my own dysphoria experience and how I align it to what I think about Davey but I know it's different for everyone. Same with experiencing anxiety/panic attacks. I hope you enjoy!  
> Warnings: Swearing, Crying, Dysphoria, Panic/Anxiety Attack (negative head dialogue)   
> Please lmk if I missed any thanks.

_Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love, but I guess this avoids the stress of falling out of it._

Davey sat at his desk, papers spread everywhere, pencil hiding somewhere underneath the mess. He had accidentally broken his pen and there was ink all over his hands and face. He sighed, surveying the disaster, today had not been a good one. He had been avoiding his friends and his boyfriend all day. He was incredibly stressed, and he knew he acted like a bitch when he was really stressed. He sighed again, his head falling into his hands, resulting in even more ink on his face. Worrying about losing the people he had found family with only made him stress more. 

_Are you tired of me yet? I'm a little sick right now, but I swear when I'm ready I will fly us out of here._

Davey's phone buzzed with another text message, probably one of his friends. They don't want you David, he thought, you know those messages aren't them, they don't care about a fake boy like you. Tears prickled his eyes, "I can't do this. Not right now." He whispered to the empty room.

_I'll cut my hair. To make you stare. I'll hide my chest._

He tried to stop them, but the tears kept falling anyways. He sunk his fingers into his hair, it's not short enough, he thought. He slid off of his desk chair and onto the floor, leaning against the wall in the corner. He tried to take a deep breath, but he couldn't; he was painfully aware of his chest pushing up against his binder and the aching in his ribs. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to push down another bout of tears. He couldn't hear anything except the screaming of his head telling him everything that was wrong with him. 

_But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here._

He slid his hands down from his hair and covered his ears as if he could block out the thoughts that were far too loud. His trance broke as his phone started ringing. He tried to persuade his body to move to get it but he couldn't.

_Turn off your porcelain face. I can't really think right now and this place has too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane._

When his phone rang again he closed his eyes and tried to pretend it wasn't there. It rang again and he sighed willing his hand to pick it up off his bed. Without looking at the caller ID he slid the answer button, put it up to his ear, and tried to choke out a hello.  
"Dave?" He recognized the voice, his boyfriend.  
He tried to take a deep breath. "Jack." He whispered, not trusting his voice to be any louder.   
"Davey, what the hell? Are you okay? Why haven't you been answering your phone?" Concern laced Jack's voice as the questions tumbled out of his mouth.  
"I'm fine." Davey started, but Jack cut him off.  
"Don't lie to me, I know you're not okay."  
Davey opened his mouth to reply but all that came out was a choked sob. "I can't I-I." Davey dropped his phone and pressed his hands to his eyes and tried to stop the tears from spilling out again, but he couldn't.   
Jack's heart broke hearing his boyfriend's broken sobs. "Hey Dave? I'm coming over. It's gonna be okay, alright?  
Davey nodded even though Jack couldn't see.

_Are you dead? Sometimes I think I'm dead cause I can feel the ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head, but I don't wanna fall asleep just yet._

He took as deep of a breath as he could and steadied himself against the wall behind him. For a small second, his brain let in a thought that maybe it will be okay. But maybe not. But maybe it will. 

_My eyes went dark, I don't know where my pupils are, but I'll figure out a way to get us out of here._

Davey leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He tried to focus on his heart beat. Block out the noise in his head and loose track of his surroundings. He didn't want to feel anything at all, even for just a second. 

_Get a load of this monster, He doesn't know how to communicate. His mind is in a different place. Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?_

He was startled out of his thoughts when his bedroom door opened and his boyfriend walked in, worry coating his face. Davey tried to will himself to move or his mouth to open, but it didn't. He had a million things he wanted to say, but instead he said nothing at all. His mind too frazzled and disarrayed to even form words.

_Get a load of this train wreck. His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet._

The boy walked over to where Davey was sitting and sat down in front of him. "Oh Dave." Jack whispered scooting closer to him. "Is it okay if I hug you?"  
Davey nodded his head, finally winning control of his movements.   
Jack pulled the boy into his arms holding him as close and tight as he could. This is what it feels like to be okay, David thought. Tears spilled down his face again, but this time more in relief. It was starting to look like maybe, just maybe, he'd be okay. Jack ran his hand through Davey's messy hair, tracing the way it curled ever so slightly at the the ends.   
"I'm real, right?" Davey's small voice asked from buried in Jack's chest.   
"Of course you are, Dave. You're real and you're here and I'm here. I know your head is lying to you and you can't listen to it, Dave."  
Davey cracked a small smile and looked up at Jack. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

_But little do we know, the stars welcome him with open arms._

"Well you don't have to know," Jack smiled down at Davey, "because I'll always be here. No matter what."  
"No matter what." Davey repeated pulling him closer.

_Time is slowly tracing his face. But strangely he feels at home in this place._


End file.
